R. Kelly 'Bump N' Grind'

Chart Peak: 8
YouTube

'Bump N Grind' was the 4th UK hit in just 8 months for Chicago's Robert Kelly... It made No. 8 in January '95 and followed 'Your Body's Callin', 'Summer Bunnies' and 'She's Got That Vibe' into the chart.

Indeed, there isn't actually anything particularly wrong with a little bump and grind between consenting adults. Anyway, on to R. Kelly, who'd yet to turn into the chart-dominating star he soon was and was just an RnB vocalist with a strong tally of hits behind him. For that matter, this whole style of music wasn't quite mainstream all over the country in the mid-90s, though it certainly seemed to be what the singles buyers of North-West London wanted.

Nostalgia or no nostalgia, this song still isn't very good. In fact, whilst I've warmed to some of this music in the years since it was totally alien to my Britpop-loving teenage self, most of Kelly's music remains equally tasteless and given his success as writer and producer as well as his own hits, I think he deserves a lot of blame for the blandness of the genre (or at least the male-fronted side of it) from this point onwards. At least female singers would often be backed by an innovative production, but male singers seemed to need only some loverman posturing and to repeat the title often enough and there was a Top 10 hit for them. This is perhaps the definitive example of this and so sounds even worse than it actually is.

Also appearing on: Now 28, 29, 37, 40 (with Sparkle), 41, 44, 51, 55, 59
Available on: The Essential R. Kelly

Sparkle Featuring R.Kelly 'Be Careful'

Chart Peak: 7

YouTube

In addition to his many hits as an artist, R.Kelly has had second and third careers as producer and songwriter for various other stars. The most famous of his protegees was surely teen star Aaliyah, but for a moment Sparkle (not to be confused with Sparklehorse, or Twinkle) seemed to be on the verge of similar success. Although it wasn't eligible for the official Hot 100 chart in the US due to the absence of a commercially-available single, 'Be Careful' performed well on airplay charts, and the parent album reached the Top 3 over there. It didn't last long though, due to a falling-out between the two of them.

Maybe it's all prefigured in the song itself, which features a female protagonist (voiced by Sparkle) bemoaning her useless man and threatening that she might leave, followed by the man (Kelly) claiming that she needs to make sure he doesn't leave her. And, er, that's it, with only two verses and two choruses in the five minutes of the song: both characters ask "let me finish" but there's plenty of space left over for both of them to do so. It's tempting to try and draw conclusions about Kelly himself from the lyrics here, but perhaps that's going a bit far. Still I think the best thing about this is the chunk of Curtis Mayfield's 'Pusherman' that plays early in the video.

R Kelly also appears on: Now 28, 29, 30, 37, 41, 44, 51, 55, 59
Available on: Lifestyles - Urban Groove

R-Kelly 'If I Could Turn Back The Hands Of Time'

Chart Peak: 2

YouTube

It doesn't seem the most obvious place to start the second disc - or anything else for that matter. I was curiously reassured to see, when I found this video on YouTube, that it really is seven minutes long, because I recall it coming up on the telly over and over again and seeming to go on for ages: apparently there is a five-minute radio edit of the track, but anyone who bought the single had to sit through the full version. It really only needs to be about thirty seconds long though

Kelly was a prolific artist (quite apart from his input as a producer or writer for other acts) so his Now appearances only seem to scratch the surface of his huge output around the turn of the century: this was famously the seventh hit to appear on his double album R. Sadly, they tend to scratch the most boring side of it too - few of his more hilarious tracks crop up, and instead we're lumbered with the most generic RnB pumps and the dullest ballads. Even among the latter this stands out for its deep commitment to dullness - the whole song is basically in the title, and the tune, I finally realised, is 'Speak To Me Someone' - in fairness, it's a pretty standard riff, and they're neither of them a million miles from 'Unchained Melody'. But I can't help resenting something with so little substance taking up so much of my time.

Also appearing on: Now 28, 29, 30, 37, 40 (with Sparkle), 41, 51, 55, 59
Available on: The R In RnB Collection Vol. 1 - Greatest Hits