Mark Morrison, 'Horny'

Chart Peak: 5

YouTube

Mark has had hit after hit after hit in the last year... 'Horny' was a Top 5 monster in December '96 - it came after 'Return Of The Mack', 'Crazy' and 'Trippin' and was itself followed by his 5th top tenner 'Moan And Groan'.

If I thought I had any younger readers, I might want to emphasise the truth of that sleevenote to them: posterity recalls Mark Morrison as a a one-hit-wonder (which he seemingly was in some places) but here in the UK he managed five Top 10 singles in a year, though that was pretty much his lot, with only one Top 20 appearance since.

I don't know whether anyone actually remembers this song, but it's unlikely to come as a great surprise that 'Horny' find him huffing and puffing in his usually sub-Bobby Brown style about sex, dropping such couplets as "drop your clothes on the floor and close the door" (why that way round Mark?) and the unmissable "Roses are red and violets are blue/ Get on the floor, I wanna freak you". He even calls in a female rapper to explain how irresistable he is. You see her in the video, alongside some dancers in skintight police uniforms handcuffing him. As if all this wasn't laughable enough - and frankly it is - the way he says "you gotsk me horny" always reminded me of Popeye.

I suppose it's just about possible that his entire career was supposed to be played for laughs, but if so he's been in remarkably deep cover all these years. He was last seen calling himself the Beatles of Leicester and complaining that the city didn't pay enough respect to him.

Also appearing on: Now 36
Available on: Return Of The Mack

Mark Morrison 'Return Of The Mack'

Chart Peak: 1 (2 weeks)

Dailymotion

Well, at least this one doesn't really need an introduction. One of the UK's biggest hits of 1996 and a relatively rare case of British urban music successfully exported to the USA. Back over here he was successful enough to score four more Top 10 singles off the back of this, hence his appearance on I Love 1996 (posted on his official YouTube channel!) We used to find this record hilarious at the time, complete with his odd sub-Bobby Brown voice, his curious interjections over the chorus (he's not really saying "terrace", unfortunately), and those repeated phrases at the end of the verses ("But I do-do-do"). Then there was the figure of Morrison himself, hosting Top Of The Pops in a fake American accent (I knew because I'd heard him on the radio without it before) and waving pairs of handcuffs around. He seems to have taken it all too seriously though, as proved by his repeated attempts at comebacks and his picking a fight with his hometown.

On a purely musical level, it's a competent enough track. I suppose the beat from 'Genius Of Love' makes for another very tenuous Talking Heads connection.

Also appearing on: Now 36
Available on: Return of the Mack