Akon featuring Eminem 'Smack That'

Chart Peak: 1

YouTube

Akon is a big fan of collaboration, his late 2006 No. 1 smash 'Smack That' featured his good friend Eminem... So far in 2007 he has collaborated Snoop Dogg on 'I Wanna Love You' and Gwen Stefani on her hit single 'Sweet Escape'.

Yes, for quite a while back there Akon was a major star, racking up an impressive tally of hits. And then he seemed to fall off the radar: his last Now appearance was as a guest on a flop Flo Rida single. He hasn't just stopped having hits he seems to have stopped making music entirely. Perhaps he's having acting lessons - you'd hope so after seeing the start of this video. Mind you, his disappearance isn't that much more surprising than the fact that he was a pop star in the first place, with his odd pinched voice and simplistic production.

It's also a little curious that Eminem, who was one of the biggest stars in the first decade of the new century (he also had two Top 5 hits in 1999 and the biggest-selling single of 2010), has only two Now appearances, plus one as a member of D-12. The obvious explanation would be that his music is too controversial for a mass audience, which would be understandable but I can't be the only one who finds the casual sexism of this song far more offensive than the cartoon shock value of Eminem's own major hits. Akon charming offers that if we ask nicely (or even if we don't, in fact) he might consider bending us over and "smacking that" until we get sore. He does mention his car, because that clearly proves him to be attractive. It's hard to know which is sadder really, the fact that he thinks girls will be impressed by him or the fact that some of them apparently were.

Akon also appears on: Now 60, 61, 62, 67 [with Snoop Dogg], 68, 72, 73 [with Kardinal Offishall and Colby O'Donis], 74 [with David Guetta], 78 [with Flo Rida],
Eminem also appears on: Now 53
Available on: Konvicted

D12 'Purple Hills'

Chart Peak: 2

YouTube

In 2001, controversial, award-winning rap-star Eminem introduced the world to his original crew, D12... Eminem and his fellow D12 members (Proof, Denoun, Bizarre, Kuniva & Swifty) met seven years ago at Detroit's Hip Hop Shop - "We made a pact years ago," says Eminem, "which ever one of us gets signed, comes back for the rest." - making good on that promise, Eminem led D12 into the UK Top 5 for the first time in summer 2001 with 'Purple Hills'.

I suppose it's good of Eminem that he did keep to his word. And it's a tribute to his star power that even the crew's debut single, the charmingly-titled 'Shit On You', reached the Top 10 over here. It reappeared as a flipside to their first fully promoted release, which reportedly sold enough in its first week to top the chart had one format not fallen foul of chart rules and been excluded from calculations. Still, it got the consolation of a Now appearance, one of I think only three for Eminem.

The trouble is, it's a blinking awful record. And not only because of the self-consciously controversial content, which is after all what you expect from Eminem - indeed 'Purple Hills' as featured here is a sanitised version of the more explicitly druggy 'Purple Pills', though it retains such shock lyrics as "I can't describe the vibe I get/When I drive-by six people and five I hit." Personally, I dislike the fact that the obscenity in this particular track leans towards the lavatorial, which has less of the thrill of a skillful verbal barb. There's a more fundamental problem with D12 though: the reason why Eminem got signed to a big record company before the rest of them was because they weren't as talented as he is. In what seems like a smart commercial move, Eminem gets the first verse but that only seems to emphasise how the other five struggle to keep up. This is why I think their best single was 'My Band', which actively parodies that dynamic.

Of all the tracks on this album, I think this is the one I was most dreading having to listen to in full, so thoroughly did I detest it at the time. But at least it was shorter than the Lighthouse Family record.

Available on: Hip Hop Anthems Of The Decade [+Digital Booklet]