OPM 'Heaven Is A Halfpipe'

Chart Peak: 4

YouTube [uncensored version]

'Heaven Is A Halfpipe' has been described as a "chiming skater's anthem" - and it gave OPM an impressive UK chart debut at No.4... Matthew (AKA Shakey L The Kreation Kid) describes the band's slacker style as "nothing too complicated" and John E. Necro adds "We're not trying to blow up your brain, we're saying 'Hey, cool out a bit.'"

Even without the irritating compulsory-fun quotes and the you-don't have-to-be-mad-to-work-here stage names, there's something about most skater music that tends to get on my wick. It's not just that I have no interest at all in the sport; I'm not interested in surfing either but it never stopped me enjoying the Beach Boys. In fact, I don't really even know enough about the culture as a whole to have an opinion on it at all, but it seems to attract a lot of really awful music that combines the worst elements of rock and hip-hop, with an extra order of self-satisfaction. You'll struggle to find a better example than this rather weak novelty single, in which they imagine skating in the afterlife (I neither know nor frankly care exactly what a halfpipe is), although for the sake of a rhyme they say at the start of the second verse that there's a sign saying "DO NOT SKATE".
All this is delivered over the much-used sample of 'Impeach The President' by the Honeydrippers (not the Led Zep spinoff act, obviously) which means that at least this record is slightly less irritating musically than vocally. But the only other claim it has to notability is that they managed to sneak the phrase "Jesus packing my bong" past the compilers uncut.

Incidentally, after severall minutes of thought I've come up with the only two skating songs I think are any good: 'Kick, Push' by Lupe Fiasco and (to make my brother happy)'Skateboard Song' by Kenickie.
Available on: Menace To Sobriety