Gym Class Heroes featuring The-Dream 'Cookie Jar'

Chart Peak: 6
YouTube

Gym Class Heroes' third UK smash 'Cookie Jar', hit the Top Ten in September 2008... The track features vocals from Grammy-Award-nominated singer/songwriter The-Dream, who also co-wrote Rihanna's No.1 smash 'Umbrella'.

Not often you get the lyrics on an official YouTube upload, I suppose that saves you the trouble of watching it. I took one for the team though and sat through all three and a half minutes. There are few more puzzling phenomena of the twenty-first century than the fact that Gym Class Heroes (or as I just typed, Gym Class Herpes, I'm honestly not making that up) have had as many as four Top Ten singles in the UK. Since their albums tend to sell approximately diddly-squat here, it seems unlikely that they have any fans, and this particular song was not a big hit elsewhere in the world but somehow my compatriots in the UK sent this close to the Top 5; it didn't even go Top 50 in the US.

Supposedly written while frontman Travis McCoy was dating Katy Perry, 'Cookie Jar' is a gruesome boast about his inability to resist the temptation of other women while he was in a relationship. Using "cookies" as a metaphor for human beings gives it a rather grubby, objectifying air and the fact that The-Dream and his odd hyphen keep singing "I like girls" in the chorus means it's not even subtle. Seriously, guys, either be metaphorical or don't. And while you're at it, try and think of a band name that's not so reminiscent of of dirty socks.

Also appearing on: Now 67, 80 [with Adam Levine]
Available on: The Quilt [Explicit] [+digital booklet]